ADOLESCENT NEEDS
I have worked with adolescents for my entire professional career, as a teacher and school counselor. In addition, my wife, Aileen, and I reared three daughters and dealt – as well as we could – with their teenage travails. The reader might think that all of my professional dealings with adolescents would have made me some kind of ideal parent in dealing with my own kids during their teenage years. I am sure that my educational background and training did help at times, but Aileen, who never studied the psychology of adolescence, dealt better with the various crises that arose than I did.
The first requirement for any adult dealing with teenagers is that he must respect the child. The kids that I worked with in the South Bronx often talked about teachers or other adults who "dissed" them; they felt put down, diminished, by these people. To make progress with any child, he must feel that his thoughts and feelings are important – and, this must hold true even when the child is acting out or being awkward.
Some educators approach their job as a vocation; they often have a spiritual perspective on their work. For instance, a teacher who is motivated by Christian ideals will see his students as God’s children, and thus he will view them all as equal and worthy of the highest respect. Such a teacher realizes that the kind of favoritism that is often bestowed on the talented athlete or the gifted student is inappropriate and unfair to the rest of the class, especially to the young person who is struggling with class work and who does not distinguish himself in any co-curricular activities. The educators who play favorites – and most do to one degree or another – convey a very shallow message to students, namely that accidental factors, like good looks or prowess in some sport, somehow merits a high level of teacher respect.
Of course, one must be realistic about these matters. Teachers are human and they will have their likes and dislikes in any class. However, these preferences should be camouflaged to the extent that each student’s worth is affirmed. The "teacher’s pet" syndrome should be avoided because it does not enhance student or teacher.
It is devastating for students to see themselves as failures. In the high schools in the Bronx, more than half of the students do not graduate, and, unfortunately, the statistics for the male population are much worse. This level of failure militates seriously against a positive school spirit and leads to very damaging consequences for the young people who are failing and, indeed, for society as a whole. It should not surprise us that over 90% of the jail population in the United States are school dropouts.
Young people need affirmation. Experiencing success in school is vital for a positive, healthy self-image. When the educational system is marking so many students as failures, based on the criterion of high school graduation, then major changes are called for. While the status quo of massive failure is obviously not acceptable, it is always easier to describe and identify a problem than to suggest workable solutions.
In a recent blog, titled “Dealing with the Dropout Problem,” I suggested three areas that I think would yield real progress in combating this pandemic of school failure, which prevails especially in the big cities. My brother Fran, also a retired educator, who lives in Australia, posted a comment on that blog that bears repeating. He argued very cogently against a one-size-fits-all approach to educational success. He blames this insistence on standardized testing of all students, which he deems a hangover from an outdated industrial model, for the widespread school failure.
Many students from inner-city backgrounds do not have their needs met at home. Usually, this is not a negative reflection on the adult(s) in the home. Very often, the young people are growing up in a chaotic situation where the mother is working long hours in a low-paying job and the siblings "make do" with fast food and minimal supervision. Teenagers need a certain level of order to complete homework assignments. They need adult guidance to understand the importance of accepting limits to their behavior as they move through the turbulent years of adolescence.
Without some level of consistent adult supervision, young people can easily drift into gangs, whose leaders will insist on following the wrong kind of rules. Drugs provide an easy and attractive alternative to school and family pressures. "Crazy mixed-up kids" seeking some kind of meaningful identity are easy prey for the false promises of the street.
Well-organized after-school programs should exist in every community, especially in the inner-city. I was in charge of a Peer Tutoring Program for many years in the South Bronx. Successful students were paid the minimum wage for helping struggling students, when the regular school day ended. After a while, quite a number of students used the program to complete their homework, often sitting and collaborating with a friend. I provided a healthy snack after the first hour of tutoring ended; this break helped the students to get comfortable with each other and with me. Overall, it was a positive and worthwhile experience, which I look back on with satisfaction.
St. Thomas Aquinas wrote often about the importance of moderation in all human endeavors. He highlighted the importance of staying away from extremes, of finding virtue in the center. This stress on a balanced, common-sense approach to dealing with teenage needs is crucial. Caring and protectiveness must not descend to mollycoddling; tough love has a place occasionally, but insisting on strictness at all times can become a kind of adult tyranny; and, most of all, school and family rules must never prevent a teen from establishing his own identity, from starting to fly on his own.
I have worked with adolescents for my entire professional career, as a teacher and school counselor. In addition, my wife, Aileen, and I reared three daughters and dealt – as well as we could – with their teenage travails. The reader might think that all of my professional dealings with adolescents would have made me some kind of ideal parent in dealing with my own kids during their teenage years. I am sure that my educational background and training did help at times, but Aileen, who never studied the psychology of adolescence, dealt better with the various crises that arose than I did.
The first requirement for any adult dealing with teenagers is that he must respect the child. The kids that I worked with in the South Bronx often talked about teachers or other adults who "dissed" them; they felt put down, diminished, by these people. To make progress with any child, he must feel that his thoughts and feelings are important – and, this must hold true even when the child is acting out or being awkward.
Some educators approach their job as a vocation; they often have a spiritual perspective on their work. For instance, a teacher who is motivated by Christian ideals will see his students as God’s children, and thus he will view them all as equal and worthy of the highest respect. Such a teacher realizes that the kind of favoritism that is often bestowed on the talented athlete or the gifted student is inappropriate and unfair to the rest of the class, especially to the young person who is struggling with class work and who does not distinguish himself in any co-curricular activities. The educators who play favorites – and most do to one degree or another – convey a very shallow message to students, namely that accidental factors, like good looks or prowess in some sport, somehow merits a high level of teacher respect.
Of course, one must be realistic about these matters. Teachers are human and they will have their likes and dislikes in any class. However, these preferences should be camouflaged to the extent that each student’s worth is affirmed. The "teacher’s pet" syndrome should be avoided because it does not enhance student or teacher.
It is devastating for students to see themselves as failures. In the high schools in the Bronx, more than half of the students do not graduate, and, unfortunately, the statistics for the male population are much worse. This level of failure militates seriously against a positive school spirit and leads to very damaging consequences for the young people who are failing and, indeed, for society as a whole. It should not surprise us that over 90% of the jail population in the United States are school dropouts.
Young people need affirmation. Experiencing success in school is vital for a positive, healthy self-image. When the educational system is marking so many students as failures, based on the criterion of high school graduation, then major changes are called for. While the status quo of massive failure is obviously not acceptable, it is always easier to describe and identify a problem than to suggest workable solutions.
In a recent blog, titled “Dealing with the Dropout Problem,” I suggested three areas that I think would yield real progress in combating this pandemic of school failure, which prevails especially in the big cities. My brother Fran, also a retired educator, who lives in Australia, posted a comment on that blog that bears repeating. He argued very cogently against a one-size-fits-all approach to educational success. He blames this insistence on standardized testing of all students, which he deems a hangover from an outdated industrial model, for the widespread school failure.
Many students from inner-city backgrounds do not have their needs met at home. Usually, this is not a negative reflection on the adult(s) in the home. Very often, the young people are growing up in a chaotic situation where the mother is working long hours in a low-paying job and the siblings "make do" with fast food and minimal supervision. Teenagers need a certain level of order to complete homework assignments. They need adult guidance to understand the importance of accepting limits to their behavior as they move through the turbulent years of adolescence.
Without some level of consistent adult supervision, young people can easily drift into gangs, whose leaders will insist on following the wrong kind of rules. Drugs provide an easy and attractive alternative to school and family pressures. "Crazy mixed-up kids" seeking some kind of meaningful identity are easy prey for the false promises of the street.
Well-organized after-school programs should exist in every community, especially in the inner-city. I was in charge of a Peer Tutoring Program for many years in the South Bronx. Successful students were paid the minimum wage for helping struggling students, when the regular school day ended. After a while, quite a number of students used the program to complete their homework, often sitting and collaborating with a friend. I provided a healthy snack after the first hour of tutoring ended; this break helped the students to get comfortable with each other and with me. Overall, it was a positive and worthwhile experience, which I look back on with satisfaction.
St. Thomas Aquinas wrote often about the importance of moderation in all human endeavors. He highlighted the importance of staying away from extremes, of finding virtue in the center. This stress on a balanced, common-sense approach to dealing with teenage needs is crucial. Caring and protectiveness must not descend to mollycoddling; tough love has a place occasionally, but insisting on strictness at all times can become a kind of adult tyranny; and, most of all, school and family rules must never prevent a teen from establishing his own identity, from starting to fly on his own.
1 comment:
The dropout problem in schools such as the one in which you worked in the Bronx is mirrored in this country where there are large Aboriginal populations and with similar results. A prominent Marist Brothers school in Sydney is actively seeking out promising indigenous students (in the sense of a home support, not just academically promising)and giving them scholarships to attend their school, funding coming from a Foundation. It appears to be working well, but obviously in the "light one candle rather than curse the darkness" way. By the by, the next Australian rugby out-half, a lad named Kurtley Beale, is a product of that program.
There is one other thought, an uncomfortable one, which I offer here. In Ireland, Gaelscoileanna are flourishing; one of our nephews sends his children to one. My view is that this popularity owes less to an enthusiasm for the Irish language than because the teachers in those schools tend to be keen, active, proselytising almost, and the home life of the kids tends to be serious about education. Uncomfortable as it may be to say so, I believe the success of Catholic and other non-government schools (approx one-third of secondary pupils, and the fees are not outlandish) in this country is down to a similar thinking.
Fran
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